Becoming the home school mom.

I remember when I spent time looking around at what stroller moms had at the parks we would go to, but now I am looking at home school push boxes that moms are toting around at the Florida home school convention this year. Having a box with a cover is the one that was a favorite.:)

I want to remember these years of when I spent hours looking for options in home schooling. I also think I want my kids to know all that I put into learning what we should be doing to lead them.

I am thankful for all the moms that have helped educate me in whats available and their personal stories.

Q...We are NOT raising children...we are RAISING adults. Sonya Shafer

motherhood

Over the last three years I have been attending MOPS. The first time I went I could cry with joy and relief. There where moms that understood me. Moms who had stories that were more crazy them mine with their children crying and not listing. Moms who prayed for me. There was childcare for two hours that was FREE and FOOD! I loved this place!!!

One year the theme was perfect to how I was feeling "A Beautiful Mess." I felt like a mess. Everything around me was a mess. When I entered the meeting and heard the two words together I grabbed them and held them for two years. I AM BEAUTIFUL and a mess, and it's ok :)

WOW! what freedom and joy I have felt ever since.

Another mom's meeting that has helped me grow is the two meeting with "Brave Love." I understand more what it means that ALL women are created by God to be mothers. I had a chance to talk on this at a women's meeting in NJ.

I am so thankful I have my two boys in my life. However I have longed for more children and some how feel 4 is the perfect number. The number that I long for to see sitting in the back of a Suburban which I do not own...and at home being home schooled.

I am 39 years old, I don't think I will get to have my 4 children I have grieved for over a year. Eirikur has asked for more siblings, I use to tell him lets pray and he even gave us a name Mindia for a sister he thought he would have. One night at the dinner table he noticed that there is always an empty chair at the table and how we are missing a child. When I told him we could pray...he was already discouraged and said to us. "Oh mom we already prayed and God did not give us any."

I was so sad to hear his broken heart and see his love for another baby not be here, but I was and am hopeful. I shared with him that maybe God wants us to wait. Maybe God wants us to help children have a safe home. We can trust God and we can tell him what's on our hearts.

My husband share something with me recently that filled my heat. We do have the big car with 2 wonderful children and I do get to home school them. I am not missing that much from what I long for.

I don't understand why there is a DEEP longing in my heart for more but I wait and trust in the Lord.

I shared my heart with a older friend with many kids and she shared this with me. "It is wonderful to have lots of children but it is also wonderful to have little, because I am able to spend more quality time with two than I could with more. I am thankful she shared this with me, because it really did help me not grieve as much.

~I LOVE being a MOM, and a WIFE.

It's been two years since I wrote up a blog. I am thinking to try it again. I want to write about the women and moms that have touched my life in making me a better wife and mother. My Mother, Grandmother, Aunt Marie, Phylis, Linda Francis, Rhonda, Theresa, Robin, Wilma, Andrea...I will write more later

My prayer to God Nov 2011 at SEC

God I want to be trust worthy of what you tell me and what you want to show me.
 I want to know what is historic and I want to be a part of it!!!
I want a part!
Please include me!
Please help me focus on what you already gave me!
I want to be trust worthy of your secrets!
I want a part! In what you are doing with YWAM.
Help me get there with you! My heart is true my spirit is willing. Help my tired and overwhelmed flesh.

Packing up the infant stuff

 No longer does Eirikur need his mobile, or his lamb swing and his crib bumper  also his infant car seat. We have started to pack up these things and hope to hold on to them for the next child.It is wonderful to see him grow and sad to let the baby stuff go.

Eirikur's first tooth

Feb 24th 2011,
I noticed today that Eirikur has his first bottom tooth. It was while I was driving home from Wal Mart with Anna Joensen that I found out. I saw that Eirikur ate a piece of paper and I reached into his mouth to get it from him and found a tooth growing. He is getting so BIG!!!

My heart was broken

At 4 months Eirikur had his first cold. He had a runny nose, a cough and a fever. I tried the best a mommy could to help him feel comfortable as his body was fighting this cold. My heart was broken when he would cry for help in a whimper voice and I could do nothing but hold him and pray. It was during his days of not feeling well that Eirikur reached for me while Marni was holding him, this was the first time my son reach for me. My heart was joyful that he wanted me but sad that he was not feeling well. My broken heart was because I love him so much and it hurts me to see him unhappy. It is the same how Jesus see us, but even more, when we are hurting he is too. He so wants to help us and He can if we just let him. Praise God!!!